RustyView.com

I’m so tired of pretending… When I was young all I used to do was pretend. I would imagine fighting ninjas and dragons in my back yard. I pretended that I could move things with my mind, and sometimes I would even dream that I could. I was always so disappointed when I woke up and couldn’t make my alarm clock float. I want to say that when I got older I stopped pretending, but that’s not true… I started pretending in new ways…

Instead of pretending that I could tame a dragon, I began pretending like I had all of the answers and that I was in control. I began pretending to be a grownup. I began acting like I wasn’t afraid. But when it comes down to it, in all of it I was just doing what I did before. And like before, I was constantly disappointed in myself.

Christianity is supposed to set us free from these burdens of pretending… but somehow in our twisted nature we corrupt the things that are supposed to point us towards freedom.

There are several passages in the Bible that show that God is just as tired of us pretending as we are. One of the most prominant ones that comes to mind is in the beginning of the book of Isaiah. God’s people have become wicked and fallen into this game of make-believe-worship… They went through the motions pretending that everything was okay when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

God says to his people:

Quit your worship charades. I can’t stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings— meetings, meetings, meetings—I can’t stand one more!
Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You’ve worn me out!
I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.
When you put on your next prayer-performance, I’ll be looking the other way.
No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I’ll not be listening.
And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. (Isaiah 1:14-15 The Message)

We do this, don’t we? We get caught up in our meetings, and our events, and our concerts, and our programs, our routine… We feel uneasy and at unrest. We are scared and worried, and we act like everything is okay. We close our eyes and pretend that the world around us is peachy keen while really its falling apart faster than we can tell. We pretend and go to God with smiles pasted on our faces and bookmarks in our Bibles that haven’t moved in months.

I read an account in the New Testament that granted a lot of insight into our continued pretending that God so detests. In the book of Acts it tells a story about Paul and Barnabas in the city Lystra. The two go to Lystra to flee persecution, and there come across a man who was born crippled and as Scripture says,”had never walked.” Paul sees that the man has the faith to be healed and walk for the first time ever. He looks intently at the man and says loudly, “Stand upright on your feet.” And in that moment he is healed and Scripture says he not only rose, but sprang up and began walking…

This miracle was a sign not only for the man but for the people of Lystra as well. However Scripture says that they immediately believed that Barnabas and Paul were the greek gods Zeus and Hermes, and then begin bringing oxen and garlands to the gates to sacrifice to the two men. And when Paul and Barnabas see the people completely missing the point, it breaks their hearts. The passage reads:

But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of it, they tore their garments and rushed out into the crowd crying out, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men, of like nature with you, and we bring you good news, that you should turn from these vain things to a living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and all that is in them.”

The apostles in anguish tear their robes and cry out the people…

When I read this I couldn’t help but think about how much we are creatures of habit. The people had spent their whole lives giving sacrifices to these false gods. When Paul and Barnabas come with a message of the true God who sacrificed his Son for them, they missed it and continued to sacrifice. They heard but they didn’t understand. They saw but they didn’t really perceive.

I think many of us can identify with this story, as the people of Lystra. We grow up our as kids pretending and then we get older and are told to fake it till we make it. We put on performances for our friends, for our families, for everyone, trying to be whatever it is that we think they want us to be. And then we wake up one day not sure of who we really are at all. THEN by the grace of God we hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We hear the message that proclaims freedom from all bondage. By the Gospel we are to be free from pretending all together. But like the people Lystra we fall back into our old ways. We begin pretending all over again. Now we pretend for our church, for our brothers and sisters in Christ, and for God… And as the passage in Isaiah reveals, God doesn’t like our pretending.

However, there is hope… there is always hope.

The passage in Isaiah goes on with God’s call to his people to turn from their wicked ways and seek to do good. God offers a word of great hope. “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become white like wool.”

The NASB study bible note on this passage says that the phrase, “reason together,” means “to come to a legal decision.” There is no call for a compromise here; the people were to come to an agreement with God concerning the enormous gravity of their sin. God was not declaring His people innocent of wickedness, but He was prepared to pardon their sins if they would repent and turn to Him. God offers us that same forgiveness through Jesus. (The NKJV Study Bible. 2007 (Is 1:18). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.)

God does not call them innocent… Rather he fully recognizes them as wicked, evil, and full of sin… and offers forgiveness.

God knows we are sinful. He knew we were sinful. And He knows we are going to continue to sin.

This last year of my life has been a tremendous learning experience for me. I have learned more about myself, about God, about family, about the true meaning of friendship, about work, and about growing up than I ever would have thought possible. And in all of this, I have learned a great lesson that seems simple, but is much harder to accept than most of us realize…

The beginning of the Gospel is our sin. The more we realize our own depravity, our own brokenness, our own inability to keep everything pretty, the more glorious and powerful the cross of Christ is in our lives. Somewhere along the line Satan tricked many of us into believing that we must be perfect because we have received the grace of God. One day this will be true, but only by the power of God upon the return of His Son.

The transformational power of the Christ comes in our ability to go to God as we are.

A lot has happened in this last year that has caused me to really be angry with God and in that I have faced great frustration because I tried to hide it. I pretended that everything was okay, and it wasn’t until I was completely honest with God that I felt freedom from that anger. God knew I was angry and every time I came to him pretending that I wasn’t, I was lying to Him…

There’s  a video by the skit guys that really helps me with this. In the video God is about to begin chiseling one of His children into a masterpiece and the guy laments, “God I’ve let you down so many times…” God responds, “No, you were never holding me up. I hold you up with my victorious righteous right hand, and don’t you forget it.”

With all of that said, I simply want to plead with you my brothers and sisters to stop pretending. God showed his love to us in that WHILE we were still sinners Christ died for us. God knows the depths of our sin which goes much deeper than we actually think, and loves us in spite of it.

Go to God, as you are and share with him what is on your heart. Are you sad? God will not fear your weakness, He made himself weak that He might sympathize with our weaknesses (Heb 4:15). Are you angry? God does not fear your wrath, rather He voluntarily took it upon the cross. Are you scared? Jesus tamed storms, commanded demons, and conquered death. He did so that you might believe.

The passage in Isaiah continues…

If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be eaten by the sword; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

God’s word promises that if we are willing and obedient to God he will give us a feast. If we rebel we will fall at our own hands…

My prayer is that you will no longer pretend, but find rest in the fact that God sees our sin and our guilt and offers us forgiveness in spite of it. God is good and His love knows no bounds. May you be yourself before the living God and get lost in that love.

Amen.

When you think about your life, where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what you’ve poured your heart into, do you feel like it was worth it?

The last couple of weeks I have been challenged by my mentor to think about what I want do, what I want to have, and who I want to be 5, 10, 20, and 50 years down the line. To be honest before now I hadn’t really thought about it with any serious intention. I guess always assumed I wanted to be married and have kids and be in ministry somewhere, but other than that I guess I thought I’d figure out the rest along the way. When I actually sat down to write out the “list of my future” the things I wanted to do and have were easy. I came up with a lot of things I want to do: travel, learn new things, touch lives. It was who I wanted to be that really challenged me.

Who do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I’ve always wanted to go into ministry since I was in the fifth grade. When I realized how much God loves me, I couldn’t help but dedicate my life to helping others realize His love for them. I first thought that this meant being a missionary, taking this good news to the rest of the world. As I grew older I realized that the world seemed to understand this love more than we did as a nation, so I figured I would become a pastor. So any time after that when people asked me about my future, I just told them simply I want to be a pastor. But I’ve realized something. Pastoring is not who I am… its something I do and it’s definitely not what I want to be remembered for.

I have spent a lot of my life trying to please other people so that they will approve of me and tell me that I am valuable. I have acted in certain ways, dressed certain ways, said certain things, pretended to be what people wanted me to be so that I would feel like I was good. It’s a hard thing not to do. In a world full of brokenness and pain I want to feel loved and valued and appreciated and important and needed. So I’ve tried to give myself labels and titles so that others will see me.

Runner, Writer, Artist, Pastor, Counselor, Barista, Honor-Roll Student…

You know what I realized about all of those titles? They’re completely hollow and cannot define me as a person, as much as I’d like them to. Part of it is the fact that I’m not the fastest runner, or most intriguing writer, or the most inspiring artist, but even if I was I don’t think it would mean that much to people.

God’s word tells us that God has given us the right to be called His children.

I don’t know about you, but that changes my world.

The God that put into motion the stars of the universe, that created everything good and pure, wants me as His child. Despite my brokenness, my selfishness, my pride, my insecurity He still loves me. I have all the approval I could ever need. I have all the acceptance I could ever need.

So with that in mind, when I’m fifty years old, I want to be a son of God. I want to be a father that loves his children the way God loves me. I want to be a husband that sacrifices for his wife the way Jesus sacrificed himself for us. I want to be a pastor as dedicated to spreading God’s love as those that have given up their life in loving others. I want to be living life with no regrets and in the truth that the best is yet to come…  I want to be remember not for what I’ve done, but for what God does through me.

He loves you… just the way you are. He wants to give life and give it to you abundantly. He wants you to realize that you are His creation. He wants to hold you in His arms as your true Father…

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

I think one of the biggest things that we as people struggle with is self confidence. For some reason we just have trouble believing in ourselves, and whatever the reason is we need to stop thinking like this. We need to remember that the very God that ignited the sun and sculpted the earth believes in us. He knows what we are capable of and it crushes His heart whenever we resign ourselves to average or less.

I just began reading this amazing book called Principles of Spiritual Growth. It was originally written as letters by a man named Miles J. Stanford, and later was compiled into a book. The first chapter of the book is about faith, and it’s phenomenal. I underlined and made notes on pretty much every paragraph in the chapter. This is one section I absolutely loved.

Then, too, probabilities are the big temptation when it comes to exercising faith. Too often the attitude is: “It doesn’t seem probable that he will ever be saved.” “The way things are going, I wonder if the Lord really loves me.” But Mueller wrote: “Many people are willing to believe regarding those things that seem probable to them. Faith has nothing to do with probabilities. The province of faith begins where probabilities cease and sight and senses fail. Appearances are not to be taken into account. The question is – whether God has spoken it in His Word.”

This is so beautiful I can’t even come up with the words to describe how it makes me feel. Stanford goes on to say that our faith isn’t something that is just floating in the air but it’s based on a secure foundation of facts and that without strong facts to back it up our faith can never be steadfast. And then He writes, “Once we begin to reckon (count) on facts, our Father begins to build us up in the faith.”

This is a great reminder of what Faith is really all about. In Hebrews faith is said to be the evidence of things unseen. It is a response to truth, because all truth is God’s truth. If we really want to know God, we must immerse ourselves in Him. When we begin to doubt we must run with all our might to His Word. We must remember the truth of His love. When we forget the truths of His love, we begin to forget the reason for life, and that to me is terrifying. Because when it comes down to it, it’s the equivalent to forgetting who you are, and more importantly who’s you are. You are a child of God. You are loved. And God doesn’t care what you look like, where you’re from, or what you’ve done. He loves you and wants you to run into His arms and accept His never-ending, unfailing love.

It’s not about believing in His love, it’s about knowing it.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

What are you afraid of? I don’t mean like snakes and spiders, but what really scares you? I don’t know about anyone else, but the one thing that terrifies me, the thing that keeps me up at night… is loneliness. Now I don’t lose a lot of sleep over it these days, but at one time I did. My answer to what I’m afraid of was always along the lines of, “Being alone. Not like alone in an empty room, but relationally.” This used to haunt me.

My parents divorced when I was very young and I think that had a lot to do with it. Now it wasn’t that I wasn’t loved by my parents, I know they loved me with all of their hearts. I think it just showed me that this life is hard, things change, and relationships are never perfect. So I became determined to find some perfect relationship and be loved by everyone. But the more I pushed towards this goal, the more lonely I felt. I missed out on a lot of great friendships because of this in high school. It really was a losing battle from the beginning. You see, I knew from a very young age that I wanted to serve God either as a missionary or a pastor. So I was always talking about this, but then I got to high school and things changed. In the attempt to become loved by all, I tried to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t understand it. I was supposed to be a good guy, I wanted to be a pastor for crying out loud, and yet… I just rubbed people the wrong way. I never found that love I was so desperately seeking. By the time I graduated, I had alienated almost everyone close to me. My guess would be that everyone saw me as a massive hypocrite. To anyone from that part of my life reading this, I am very sorry for my actions during that time.

It took me a long time to realize the error of my ways. It really took God breaking me down and spelling it out to me. But for the first time in a long time I found a peace in His truth, I am loved. Not only that, but I realized that the love that I was so desperate to find in my shallow relationships, would never have satisfied me had I gotten it. Personally I think that it was pride that kept me from realizing all of this sooner. I was too arrogant and stubborn to admit that anything was wrong. I was terrified to look inside of myself. I knew that I probably wouldn’t like what I saw, so I avoided it completely. But in the end it just ate me up from the inside out and by the pure grace of God I confronted my fears. I saw that I was really messed up, and starving for acceptance.

I don’t know if you have ever felt this way, but if so, let me tell you, there is hope. Ever since the garden, we have been born seeking acceptance, love, security… ever wonder why babies cry when they’re born or why kids always want to be held? We as a race are searching for God’s perfect love. Look at the mass media today… what do you see? Ads of clothes and cars that will get you noticed… self help books and six minute ab videos that will make you into the person you want to be (to get other people to like you)… and sex everywhere, pornography offering an “intimacy” to anyone anywhere… That’s why it so popular and widespread. It offers the illusion of that missing bond we long for… We try to become someone who everyone will love and we try to cover up anything unattractive about ourselves. But it’s impossible. You’ll never get to that point where everyone loves you. And if you could, you would find that it’s not what you are really looking for. I think that’s why so many celebrities struggle with the things that they do… millions of adoring fans… and no one to talk to. I think that could drive me to the verge of just about anything.

God sees you as you are. He knows everything that you’re dealing with… and He still loves you. That is just so amazing to me. I am really open about so many things, but even still, I have skeletons in my closet, and to think that God would still have me after know all of that stuff, it blows my mind. We shouldn’t think that we have to dress up in church clothes to get God to notice us. Trust me… He’s not impressed. Our clothes are just reminders of the fact that we screwed up in the garden. He created our bodies to be beautiful, but nope… sin got in the way (so now we have Abercrombie and Hollister to cover our shame).

But it’s alright, God doesn’t work like the world. He’s really the opposite of it, and that’s the beauty of it. You do not have to impress Him to earn His love. He already loves you. It’s yours. It doesn’t matter what you have done. He WILL take you back. Read Hosea… or the parable of the Prodigal Son… It’s the message of the Gospel, the good news, for all of us. We no longer have to try and be someone we’re not. We have been freed, severed from the ways of this world. We don’t have to try and earn our love. It was this message that changed my life. Jesus’ ultimate love for me drives me on daily. It’s great, it really is, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.

But this is why just living your life for Christ can be so much more powerful than running around shouting Jesus at the top of your lungs. It isn’t your job to convince people that you’ve changed. If you really are striving after God, people will notice. I know how hard it can be to make those changes, to walk away from the lives that we lived and follow Jesus, but it’s what we’re called to do. Accept the fact that God loves you and believes in you. Trust in God to provide for you. And you will realize that just a little faith can conquer the biggest fears.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty