A Rusty View

I have recently found a great deal of meaning in the seemingly small word: joy. This small but significant three letter word is terribly easy to overlook, and minimize to simple happiness or glee. However, I find that joy means so much more and is actually integral to our faith in a loving God.

Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. Ps. 32:11

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Ps. 118:24

Both of these verses seem to speak to something much more than happiness, a fleeting emotion, derived often from simple pleasures. At first glance I would say that these two verses speak to a deep appreciation and gratitude for who God is. It is an overflow of thankfulness and peace that spring up from a heart touched and moved by the love of a true personal, all-powerful God.

Another passage that comes to mind is in the first letter written to Timothy by the apostle Paul. Paul writes to his young son in the faith, instructing him to set his hope on the God, “who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”

Now I think it is important for me at the point to explain, perhaps, why this message has been so powerful to me in the last month or so. Here are a couple of lessons that I have learned and the misconceptions they came from.

1st misconception) The world is evil… escape. focus on heavenly things… then you’ll have peace and know truth…
Now I have actually just finally come to understand how wrong and dangerous that this thought process can be. I have had the distinct privileged to dialogue with author and professor Michael Wittmer who wrote a book by the name of Heaven is a Place on Earth. In our discussions he pointed out that too often we as christians focus on the fall chapter of the creation, fall, redemption narrative. Perhaps you have caught yourself believing that one day we will be free of this evil earth and all of the evil things upon it, and float away to paradise in the sky. Wittmer (and scripture) point toward the fact that Christ is bringing redemption to this earth. Revelation describes a new heaven and earth decending upon this one. When we miss the fact that we are created beings placed on this created earth, we find ourselves longing for home in outter space. The truth of the matter is that we are created to live here and therefore abandoning everything earthy goes against our nature, creation, and purpose. The truth to take out of this is while the world is fallen, it is being redeemed… we can still find good on this earth, and I would take it a step further to say that it is our job and mission to find the good the earth and claim it as our own.

2nd misconception) God gives us things to give away… get then give, get then give, get then give… forever, and ever, and ever.
I was sitting in my weekly staff meeting with my pastor and music minister when I asked the question: To what extent should we enjoy the blessings that God gives us? Now at the time it seemed a legitimate question, yet both my pastor and music minister stared puzzled at the meaning of my inquiry. After a moment my pastor replied, “100%.” I could barely even consider the response. We are called to share, and bless others… not enjoy… or so I thought. I was wrong. God has gently but firmly adjusted my understanding of his blessings and gifts. It seems that joy was always left out of the equation when I considered blessings. For me giving and sharing was always out of a sense of duty which, don’t get me wrong, came from a sense of love for my heavenly father.

Here’s where the truth got me though. Jesus says in his infamous “Sermon on the Mount” to a crowd, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” I’ve come to realize that God give us some gifts to build up the body, he gives us others to share with those in need, and sometimes God simply gives us gifts just because He loves us and wants us to know it. The truth is that if we believe that every gift and blessing is the same, we’re going to mess them all up. We have to use discernment which means there will be times when I should give away, and as hard as it is for me to believe, there are times when I should simply enjoy the goodness of God. My self-righteous humility must be put aside at times to find God’s will and purpose.

3rd misconception) The only fulfillment in life comes with purpose, mission, and vocation… get to work.
What are your spiritual gifts? What are your passions? What are your talents? How can you use those things to win souls for Jesus? Get to work… time is of the essence. I really used to live my life based off of these questions. I felt that my calling was a based on my “spiritual efficiency.” God placed me here with a purpose (see Jeremiah 1) and I only have so many years to live that out… So I got to the point where any “free time” had to be spent in preparing ministry, streamlining ministry, or in actual ministry itself… my calling became my life… and it can get a bit overwhelming. See the problem with this, is that it turns any unused time into a feeling of guilt. When I decided to rest and lose myself in the Scrubs marathon on any given Saturday afternoon, I was overwhelmed by all of the things that I could have been doing. Now don’t misunderstand me, I definitely enjoy ministry, I love it, I’m passionate about it, and as humbly as I can say this, I think I’m pretty good at it. But again I realized that there are definite scriptural proofs against this Christian work-aholism. One of the Big Ten (10 commandments) addresses this for crying out loud… “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy… For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them and rested on the seventh day.” A mentor of mine once said, “Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is rest…”

So… we can have joy in work… AND joy in rest? It really was a foreign concept to me. Yet, this idea of joy in rest has been central to our faith from the very beginning… literally. Yes, we should work to the purpose that God has given us and strive to fulfill the depth of our being. But sometimes… we can enjoy taking a break…

So what does it all mean?

I recently heard a term that coined by Psychologist Erich Fromm known as Biophilia. Biophilia when literally translated means the love of life, and the love of all things living. When I heard this term and its meaning in raw form, I was estatic. This ecompassed what I believe God wishes for us. It has also been known in some circles as Christian hedonism: the pursuit of all pleasure through Christ.

So here’s how it all ties together in light of the lessons I have recently learned and the misconceptions that I have overcome. God loves us and has blessed us. We should find joy in that, deep rooted, passionate, meaningful joy. God created the world in preparation for us, and though it is fallen, he is constantly redeeming through the grace of his Son. We must search out the good in this world. We must claim all good as our own. We must recognize that heaven in a place on earth… not in outter space. At the same time, we should recognize that God, as a loving Father, gives gifts out of his goodness, and we should enjoy them 100%. This means enjoying the opportunity to share them, enjoying the opportunity to give them away, and also enjoying the priveledge of simply recieving them. To do this, we pray what God would have us do with these blessings and by being obedient to his will. Following this understanding, we can enjoy rest. We can enjoy taking a break, and know that God actually commands us to step aside from our socially-acceptable work-aholism, to experience joy.

So what about you? Where you do you fall in all of this? Are you so focused on completely your mission, or growing spiritually, or being a Christian allstar, that you forget to enjoy the life that God has given you? When is the last time that you have seriously experienced joy in your life? When you were so completely engulfed in God’s joy that you couldn’t contain it?

What have you done to enjoy this day? What gifts have you been blessed with? To what extend have you enjoyed them?

My prayer is that you would come to embrace Biophilia… that you would love this life God has blessed you with. I pray that you would come to know joy in a new and exciting way, and that you would see God as your loving Father. I pray that you would come to trust Christ and the life that he makes available. Enjoy Life… Trust God… Know Joy… I think it’ll make a big difference.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

When I look back on my short life and try to figure out how I got to where I am, to be who I am, and how I got through the things I did, I cannot help but see God working throughout my story. My life has been rocky to say the least and to say that I got here alone would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told. When I look at how God worked (and continues to work) in my life, I see that He always placed certain individuals along my path to guide me, correct me, and teach me in what it means to be a man of God. And whether they know it or not, they were used by God to mold and shape me into the man I am becoming…

In last couple of months I have been working my way through the book of 1 Samuel in the bible. It’s a really interesting book to see how faith travels through generations and how God connects people’s lives. Within this book the writer tells the story of David and how he becomes king and the opposition that arises on his journey. Saul, the king David is to replace, ends up hunting David down in an attempt to protect his own kingship. However, Jonathan, Saul’s son, choses to protect David from his father’s rage. When I reflect on everything that I’ve read out of 1 Samuel, the thing I keep coming back to is this relationship between David and Jonathan.

From the moment that David and Jonathan meet (right after that David and Goliath business) the two have friendship and bond that, as I mentioned, eventually saves David’s life. Scripture reads:

As soon as [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Later the two realize that Saul is out to kill David and Jonathan tells David to run…

Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’”

Allow me to first paint a broader background picture. Jonathan is the King’s son. He is in line to be king, but in his humility he recognizes God working in David’s life and desires for God to be glorified. Unlike his father, Jonathan is truly a man of God and proves this on several occasions. He is able to look past his own personal gain to see how God is working in the lives of those around him. I think that this makes this relationship all the more powerful…

the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David…

There are so many people that have been in my life for just a short season yet still had a profound impact on me. I can go years without seeing these people and reunite without even realizing we’ve been apart. God has given me these relationships where the path of my life crossed with someone else’s and for a moment, just a short moment our souls connected. I carry these people with me in everything I do. In the darkest moments when all seems lost, there always seems to be someone there… And when the relationships seem like distant memories I know that God will never leave me alone.

In the New Testament of the Bible there a letter written by Paul to the church of Colossae which is to be later passed on to the church at Laodicea. It’s one of my favorite books of the Bible. Now Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter so it had a been a while since he had actually interacted with the believers in these cities and therefore he wouldn’t know everyone, but he writes this note of encouragment…

I want you to realize that I continue to work as hard as I know how for you, and also for the Christians over at Laodicea. Not many of you have met me face-to-face, but that doesn’t make any difference. Know that I’m on your side, right alongside you. You’re not in this alone. I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery.

Another translation of this passages reads, “that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love…” Paul, a former Jewish teacher would have been very familiar with the story of Jonathan and David. He takes the strength and power of that brotherly love and applies it to us as Christians. We are called to be knit together and to love one another as we love ourselves…

Too often I feel like people in our world and society are in constant search of marriage. We are eager to meet our spouse, to get married, to “have someone,” but it seems that we are so focused on finding that one “special” relationship that we ignore all of the God-given friends we have around us. For me, it has taken years and years to even begin to learn this lesson. Relationships take time and effort. We must open ourselves up and pour ourselves out into one another. It’s not an easy task, especially in a culture that has come to trust no one, but we have to step out and trust one another.

We are not alone on this earth. All of mankind was created to be a child of God. You were created to be a child of God. Yet we lost our way as children and Jesus came to restore the relationship and teaches us what it really means to embrace our Father. The relationships that we build with one another through the love of God, ends up intertwining with those around us creating this master piece, a “tapestry of love” as Paul writes.

My prayer is that you would realize that you’re not alone. Whatever you are dealing with in your life, there are others that know what you are going through. When you’re lonely and the world seems full of strangers, I pray that you would come to realize that we are all members of one body, one family. Then, I pray that you would begin to find or develop relationships in your life in which you experience God’s love. I hope that you would come to find yourself knit to your brothers and sisters around you. And if you don’t believe that you have any brothers or sisters, even if you don’t know me, my heart cries out to you. Contact me and in whatever way I can, I will be there for you. And I can only offer this because God has gifted me with so many people to carry my burdens with me.

Imagine, just for a moment, what it will be like when we can love one another as our own souls. When, like Jonathan, we can see God moving in the lives of those around us and be a part of that.

God’s word also says

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

All this to say, I pray that we would all take a moment to thank God for the relationships in our lives, and that we might come to realize how precious a gift a true friend really is…

p.s. the name Jonathan means Gift from God…

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

I often wonder, underneath the clothes, within the life, behind the titles, who am I? I believe that I have been called to share this message of God’s love for the world and to me that’s the most fulfilling thing I could ever do. When it comes down to it, thats who I am, its who I want to be. I want to be a child of God… son to the creator of the world, the author of beauty, love, and peace. I lose track of that sometimes…

There are other times when I get so caught up in what God is doing in everyone else’s life that I forget what He’s doing in mine. I tend to be one of those people that carries the weight of the world on my shoulders… Its very hard for me to share responsibilities or burdens, and when I fail… its my fault. I beat myself up and while I understand God will always love me, I have a hard time loving myself.

The last month or so, God has been teaching me a lot about myself and what it means to follow Him. I read this great passage in one of my favorite books ever that says:

Patiently, persistantly, and painfully our Father digs down into the recesses of self, more and more fully revealing to us just what we are and are not, in ourselves.

I am amazed at how well my creator truly knows me, and how very little I actually know myself. And even though he knows who I am deep down inside there are a lot of times when I  forget who I am… and He lovingly reminds me.

In all truth, I’ve just begun my walk. And while I may be ahead of some when it comes to maturity, I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of what God has in store me. But as I look back over the years of my short life I can see God guiding me and growing me. I can see Him sculpting me into who I am now, and through that I have begun to realize that I’m still a work in process.

If we are going to come truly into the hands of God for His purpose, then we shall be dealt with by Him in such a way as to continually increase our spiritual measure. Not our interest in Christian work; our energies, enthusiasm, ambitions, or ablities; not our academic qualifications, or anything that we are in ourselves, but simply our spiritual life is the basis of the beginning and growth of our service to God. Even the work, when we are in it, is used by Him to increase our spiritual measure.

Everything that God allows us to expereince is intended to bring us closer to Him, closer to who He made us to be. So even my failures teach me about God, His mercy and grace, while at the same time teaching me that I truly am a Son of God.

My pastor shared a quote with us that went roughly like this:

To begin to experience God’s true joy in your life, you must first thank Him for every situation you find yourself in…

So I’m just now beginning to realize that God is cultivating me and that every day he is bringing me closer to Himself and to who He made me to be. While it is a long process and I stumble, get lost, and fall along the way… He knows what He’s doing, and I can rejoice in that.

I pray that you would come to realize that God is working in your life, whether you see it or not, and that He loves you and simply wants you to be what he created you to be… a masterpiece. He simply wants to bring you back to Himself… and when you stumble, get lost, or fall He will be there to pick you up and set you back on the path… every time.

He created you and loves you… and will never give up on you.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and people all across our great land will celebrate by preparing too much food, eating until it hurts, and then laying down to take one of the best naps of the year while watching college football. And in one unison sigh they’ll groan, “Uhhhh…. I shouldn’t have eaten so much…” Stomaches across the nation will cry out as they are stretched beyond capacity with turkey and cranberries…

glut·tony
Pronunciation: \?gl?t-n?, ?gl?-t?-n?\
Function: noun
1 : excess in eating or drinking коли под наем 2 : greedy or excessive indulgence

There really is no time like the holidays… I’ll get back to that.

I was talking the other day with a very very good friend of mine about the nature of religion. They brought up the point that they believed religion was something that people cling to less and more depending on their need of it. I told them that I couldn’t agree more. However, I pointed out the fact that there is something more. Looking back from the beginning of time every culture and society has had some form of deity or god. Mankind has always acknowledged that there is something more going on in the world and has tried to give it a name. I believe that there is a reason for this.

Now if you grew up in the bible belt and went to church at all as a kid, you might be familiar with the terminology of a God-shaped hole in our hearts. The idea is this: Mankind was originally created to be in a perfect relationship with God Himself and that relationship has been broken. From the moment that we were born into this fallen world, we were missing something.

Let’s just be honest for a little while. We live in a society that pushes the idea that a person can find purpose and identity based on what kind of clothes they are wearing, which political party they hail allegiance, or what church they go to. (that’s right… we christians can lose focus too…) Regardless of what it is, we are looking to fill our lives with something. And I’m no different. I often try to fill my life with ministry, school work, friends, books, writing, shopping, and a lovely girl friend. However, the interesting thing is that when I try to derive meaning from these things and try to fill my life with these things it is never enough… I mean I thoroughly enjoy these things but even on the weeks when I literally don’t have fifteen minutes to spare, it just isn’t enough. However, I find that God’s word has a lot to say about this hunger for meaning and purpose, this God-shaped hole in us

Many of the poems found in the book of Psalms center around this theme of hunger and thirst:

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul, for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  Psalm 42:1-2

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

I think that is the easy part for many of us to recognize. There is something missing in our lives, whether its that special someone, that adventure, that goal, that purpose… I think most of us can agree on that. Its going from hungry to full that I think we struggle.

Jesus after he performs a miracle in which he feeds somewhere around 15,000 people with some left over fish and bread, says this…

“I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst…” John 6:35

Later there is a description of heaven in which the writer John writes, “They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” Rev. 7:16-17 What a beautiful picture. Jesus’ words coming to life. People living among their creator, content, whole, perfected.  Through Jesus we are able to find true meaning and fulfillment.

In high school I always woke up too late to ever eat breakfast and lunch wasn’t until 12:30 or so. I remember that I had an english class right before lunch and almost everyday I was struck by these hunger pains that were so intense I wanted to take a bite out of Hamlet to feel better. I want you to think of that feeling, the feeling you get whenever you are just so hungry that you are nearly doubled over in pain… I remember though that if I could just ignore it for fifteen minutes, I would forget about the pain and could get through english class, book intact.

This is the world without Jesus… Without Him we have this feeling of emptiness that is extremely painful, but with enough time we can ignore it and eventually the pain is dulled. It’s easy to see the world suffering from these pains… doubled over searching for sustenance… taking a bite out of whatever is near.

Now back to Thanksgiving… In a couple of weeks people will eat and eat and eat to their heart’s desire… but their stomaches will hate them for it. Despite the fact that they are full, they will keep going back for seconds, thirds, then dessert! I do it too, I’ll admit it. Even though I know I’m full, I can’t help but go back for more of my Grandmother’s earth rattlingly awesome cookin’. (yes… rattlingly is a word. google it.)

Okay so here’s really where I want to focus. This is where we as Christians fall a lot… at least I do. First we were hungry, our souls longed for God. Then, Jesus came as the bread of life to give us a way to our heavenly Father. He came and gave us meaning, purpose, hope, and love. David in Psalm 23 writes, “The Lord is my shephard, I shall not want…”

What happens when we as Christians, filled and full of the love of God seek to go back for the “desserts” of the world? Gluttony? There are so many times when I look at a situations that I know I should avoid, when I know I shouldn’t indulge in the ways of the world, but it just looks so delicious… I mean one more bite of Pride, looking better than that person will just taste so good. One more bite of Anger, saying that one last hurtful thing will taste so great. One more bite of Lust, taking just one more look will be the bit of flavor I’ve been looking for…

Isn’t that how we see sin? It looks delicious. Even though we’re full, we believe that one last bite will finish it off. But it never tastes as good in the end does it? I often find myself sitting there, the taste of sin still in my mouth, thinking to myself, “I shouldn’t have taken that last bite…” It’s spiritual gluttony.

It’s funny. I was raised in a family that let me eat when I was hungry and let me go play if I wasn’t. I was never really forced to clean my plate, but was always offered a well prepared dinner. I don’t really have the problem of eating too much, and I never really starve… It’s funny that the same mentality doesn’t transfer over to my walk with Jesus.

I think part of it is because I spent so much of my life looking to fill myself with things other than Jesus, that even now that I’m full I am still used to going into the kitchen to see what I can eat. Does that make sense? But now that I know better I need to find a balance.

To those of you that don’t know the fulfillment of Jesus, He came so that you wouldn’t have to spend the rest of your life looking for meaning. He came to show you how to live your life full of purpose and love. He came and died on a cross to pay for all of our sin and selfishness, and He would have done it, if it were just for you. The emptiness you feel comes from that broken relationship with God… but He made a way for it to be restored…

To those of you that are like me, Christians that find yourself looking for fulfillment after we’ve already been filled, it’s time to stop snacking. We must realize that we have been given everything that we could possibly need. I don’t need to seek approval from those around me, I don’t need to have the newest and best clothes, I don’t need to be the center of attention… because of the life I’ve been given. And while the “desserts of the world” often seem tempting, we must recognize Jesus as what He really is… The Bread of Life. We have to let go of our past desires and cling to Him. He will give us more than we could ever imagine, if only we trust Him…

I want to leave you with this passage from the letter of Ephesians, it is my prayer for you as it was Paul’s for the church of Ephesus.

 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

I’m exahusted. I haven’t really gotten any substantial amount of sleep in the last couple of days because of school work and such. Now in the small moments I have to actually rest, I find myself focusing on all of the things awaiting me on the other side of my pillow. Staying awake at this point almost seems like a form of procrastination… crazy how your mind works when you’re tired. Maybe its just me.

I’ve been running below empty physically and mentally the last couple of days, and when I finally made time to get into God’s word I felt like I needed to hear a little Matthew 6. “Do not worry about tomorrow” and all of that. However I found myself really drawn to the letter of 2 Timothy. I’ve always taken a lot of personal interest in Timothy as a person. I feel like I can really relate to him I guess. Timothy was a student of Paul (one of the founding fathers of the body of Christ aka the church) and is set in charge over his own group of people, responsible for their spiritual development. Both letters of 1 & 2 Timothy are packed full of instructions on how he should approach ministry along with warnings against the dangers and struggles he will face.

To be completely honest I was a little disheartened when I began reading this letter. Paul writes to Timothy encouraging him to be bold in his faith, to be disciplined, and diligent. He then goes on to say, “Dont be naive” warning him of the difficult times that lie ahead.

As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals.

I couldn’t help but see “American Society” written all over this passage (both in and outside of the church). I’m sure that there are those that would say some of those titles fit me. All the same this list is really intimidating. There are some pretty strong names in there and my immediate reaction is to condemn anyone I would classify in those categories, but then something else comes back to me. In the gospels there is an account of Jesus’ response to that kind of self-righteous reaction.

In the book of Mark chapter 2 we find Jesus having dinner with “disreputable guests,” those that might be classified as crude, profane, savage by the seemingly religious teachers of his day. The religious teachers of the day then begin to question Jesus’ followers asking how he could keep such company with these sinners. After all among his guests were tax collectors (IRS anyone???) and gentiles (non-believers in modern terms). Jesus then, in a stroke of beauty replies,

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

As a follower of Jesus Christ, it is my job to reach out to all of the sick in our society, to the cynical, addicts, who are allergic to God. Why? Because Jesus reached out to touch me… and when it comes down to it, I could come up with a lot worse descriptions of myself than stuck-up.

Jesus touched my life and called me away from a life of self-absorption, so that I could share his love with others. He has called me away from a life addicted to lust, so that I could understand the meaning of love and devotion. He has called me out of my dog-eat-dog mindset, so that I could lay my life down for those around me.

You know when I first read through the letter this time, I was discouraged. Deep down inside I was asking myself how I could stand against such evil in the world, but I was missing the point. The point is really, how am I going to share God’s love with so many hurting people?

Paul later encourages Timothy saying that some will turn their backs and chase mirages, but you - keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the message alive…

The message:

God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He demonstrates his love for YOU in the fact that in the darkest moment of your life, He gave his life for you. He have his life for me. Because of that my worries don’t seem so important any more…

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

When you think about your life, where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what you’ve poured your heart into, do you feel like it was worth it?

The last couple of weeks I have been challenged by my mentor to think about what I want do, what I want to have, and who I want to be 5, 10, 20, and 50 years down the line. To be honest before now I hadn’t really thought about it with any serious intention. I guess always assumed I wanted to be married and have kids and be in ministry somewhere, but other than that I guess I thought I’d figure out the rest along the way. When I actually sat down to write out the “list of my future” the things I wanted to do and have were easy. I came up with a lot of things I want to do: travel, learn new things, touch lives. It was who I wanted to be that really challenged me.

Who do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I’ve always wanted to go into ministry since I was in the fifth grade. When I realized how much God loves me, I couldn’t help but dedicate my life to helping others realize His love for them. I first thought that this meant being a missionary, taking this good news to the rest of the world. As I grew older I realized that the world seemed to understand this love more than we did as a nation, so I figured I would become a pastor. So any time after that when people asked me about my future, I just told them simply I want to be a pastor. But I’ve realized something. Pastoring is not who I am… its something I do and it’s definitely not what I want to be remembered for.

I have spent a lot of my life trying to please other people so that they will approve of me and tell me that I am valuable. I have acted in certain ways, dressed certain ways, said certain things, pretended to be what people wanted me to be so that I would feel like I was good. It’s a hard thing not to do. In a world full of brokenness and pain I want to feel loved and valued and appreciated and important and needed. So I’ve tried to give myself labels and titles so that others will see me.

Runner, Writer, Artist, Pastor, Counselor, Barista, Honor-Roll Student…

You know what I realized about all of those titles? They’re completely hollow and cannot define me as a person, as much as I’d like them to. Part of it is the fact that I’m not the fastest runner, or most intriguing writer, or the most inspiring artist, but even if I was I don’t think it would mean that much to people.

God’s word tells us that God has given us the right to be called His children.

I don’t know about you, but that changes my world.

The God that put into motion the stars of the universe, that created everything good and pure, wants me as His child. Despite my brokenness, my selfishness, my pride, my insecurity He still loves me. I have all the approval I could ever need. I have all the acceptance I could ever need.

So with that in mind, when I’m fifty years old, I want to be a son of God. I want to be a father that loves his children the way God loves me. I want to be a husband that sacrifices for his wife the way Jesus sacrificed himself for us. I want to be a pastor as dedicated to spreading God’s love as those that have given up their life in loving others. I want to be living life with no regrets and in the truth that the best is yet to come…  I want to be remember not for what I’ve done, but for what God does through me.

He loves you… just the way you are. He wants to give life and give it to you abundantly. He wants you to realize that you are His creation. He wants to hold you in His arms as your true Father…

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

Today after I got up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, shaved, put gel in my hair, and covered myself in body spray, I got my ipod and put on my new old navy jacket and headed out into the world. I just got paid and thought I’d head out and buy a couple of things I’ve been needing. The list included a case w/ an arm band for my ipod so I don’t have to hold it when I run, new running shoes since my old ones are well… old, and a pair of black business casual shoes to match my black outfits that I can wear on a regular basis. Here’s where I encounter my problem…  I don’t run very much. I used to, and am hopeful about taking it up, but since I started “running again” I’ve run once in the last week. Maybe the problem is obvious to some. I don’t really run that much but am ready to shell out $30 for a case with an armband (so I don’t have to hold the .5 lb ipod) and $60+ for shoes that look nice when I already have a pair. Now on my little shopping trip today I thought about this and really tried to justify it, saying that it would be more incentive to run… okay I’ll buy that. However, the black shoes is really a problem. I just spent about a hundred dollars on a very nice pair of black shoes not but three weeks ago. The reason that I wanted another pair of black shoes is that I won’t wear out my other pair and will be able to have spiffy shoes all the time.

I was sitting in the shoe store looking down at some very cool nike shoes trying to justify buying them. They weren’t even black…. but as I wore them I started thinking about how everyone would be in awe of how cool my feet were adorned with these shoes. Even just putting them on and walking over to the mirror made me feel a little better about who I am. I felt cool, like everyone in the store was wondering how they could be like me… After doing a few foot model turns in the mirror I went back and sat down to take off my prospective new shoes. When I went to put on the shoes which I wore into the store, I almost felt disgust towards them. They were no longer shiny white but were scruffed and worn in. Then it kind of hit me. Just six weeks ago I bought the shoes that I wore into the store today. And six weeks ago I felt the same way about them as I did the new prospective shoes.

According to soulsforshoes.org “Over 300 million children world-wide have never had one pair of shoes.” Okay now I just looked that statistic up, but the thought about how many people in the world that don’t have one pair of shoes, or don’t have clean water to drink, or education, or access to medicine really just shook me up. I went from thinking I was the coolest person in the metroplex to completely heartbroken and shameful in a matter of 30 seconds.

My point isn’t to raise awareness to the needs of the world, though I think as Americans we definitely need to be reminded, but rather is to point out the need in myself. What is it about me that longs for new shoes or pants and believes that gaining those things will make any bit of difference in who I am as a person.

And I don’t just do it with pants… I have caught myself thinking, man, if only I had this new study bible with color maps and the cool little place marker, then I would be the man God wants me to be.

It has taken a long time for me to realize that God doesn’t care about what kind of jeans I’m wearing, or if I’ve got an Icthus on the back of my car, or if my bible has daily devotionals in it. Matthew 6 says God knows our needs and is faithful to provide them. God knows that I get cold and need clothes, God knows that I get hungry and need food, and he will take care of me. But that passage isn’t just about God providing material things that I need.

God knows that I’m insecure and need approval.

The problem is that I try to get that approval from people who don’t really know who I am. People may see my awesome jacket and think, wow, he’s cool. But how much does it mean that they like what I wear. What I really want is for someone to know the depths of my soul and love me regardless of what they find.

God knows me… He knows the deepest darkest secrets within. But He also knows every hope, passion and dream. Because He’s a loving God, He sent Jesus into the world to die, so that I might have the chance to live free from those secrets and to pursue those dreams within me.

He knows you. All of you. And with that in mind He sent Jesus just for you. Think about it.

Just Sayins All…

Rusty

This is a movie made by a guy I go to school with. Please watch it.

The other day I was reading this article and I really just wanted to share some of the things the author had to say. The article was about tapping into God’s power and said that most of the time we don’t have enough faith in ourselves. The author points out that most of the times when Jesus got frustrated with his disciples were when the disciples were giving up on themselves. For example when Peter is out walking on water, he begins to sink, not because he didn’t believe in Jesus, but because he didn’t believe in himself. I think we do this a lot, sell ourselves short. I know I do.

At one point in the article the author quotes Abraham Lincoln:

If you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Later in the article the writer points out that in our society we have really defined character by the things people don’t do. Usually if a person doesn’t drink, smoke, or sleep around we will deem them a “good person.” The problem with this, the author writes, is that it limits character to passivity. Someone could live their whole life sitting in front of the TV doing nothing and if they don’t do bad things, then they are still a good person…

Character is supposed to be something that we show not through passivity in the things that we don’t do, but instead it is something that is supposed to be evident through the things that we actually do. The author writes, “You know what character is from the impact that it leaves.”

All my life I have been basically a good kid. I never got into a lot of trouble or broke a lot of rules. For the most part I did what I told and tried not to mess up, and all my life people have held it against me. For some reason people that break the rules really resent those that try to follow them. But at that time I was so concerned with what people thought about me that I would actually lie to make them believe that I wasn’t as “good” as I really was. But even then I wasn’t really accepted. And I never really felt good about myself. I knew something was missing. Looking back I see that I may have been good in passivity by not getting into trouble, but I didn’t have any real character, and people could tell.

So one day in December several years ago I decided that I wasn’t going to live a passive life anymore, just trying to get by. I realized I didn’t need the approval of anyone else, because I had the love of the creator of the universe. I then began trying to live a life worthy of my calling as a servant of the Lord. But then I ran into another problem and it’s something that I still struggle with today at times. I, like the disciples, often lose faith in God’s ability to work through me. There are times when I just feel overwhelmed like I can’t make a difference at all in the world. There are times when I just want to give up and go back to a passive life, just getting by. But as I get older and grow a little wiser, I realize that in those times of darkness, God is still God.

Today a woman in my church came to me and said, “God is God on the mountain and God is God in the valley.” She was saying that no matter how high or how low you are at any given point in your life, God is still God. He is in charge, He is in control, and He love us. He loves me. He loves you. Someone asked me how I knew that Jesus really died on the cross and rose again for me. And at first I stumbled trying to find the words. But then I realized and I told them the fact that I am who I am despite the struggles I’ve faced and the situations that I’ve been through, is a testament to the power of God’s character in my life. If you know what character is by the impact that it leaves, then Jesus’ character is evident by the redemption of my life and soul, as well as yours.

So I leave you with this, God is in control and He loves you. The world is a broken place and we all have fallen away from our true relationship with the Most High God. Jesus came to restore that relationship. He came to show us how to live in tune with God. We must remember that though we may be unworthy servants, God is our strength and we can do all things through him. And when we strive after Him, God will develop a character in us like that of His own, and we will begin to spread the fire of God’s Character. For Jesus, who has the power of God, did not live a life of passivity that made him “good.” Instead Jesus led of life of love, passion, truth, justice, mercy, peace, hope, and faith. I pray that we will all live a life with that kind of character.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26

Just Sayins all…

Rusty

I just finished watching the movie August Rush and it was one of the most moving films I have ever scene. I wanted to take a second to write about how much it has to say about our walk and relationship with God, but I figured I would let the movie speak for itself… these some of the lines from the movie. they’re taken out of order, but I think it gets a point across…

August Rush: Listen, can you hear it? the music. I can hear it everywhere: in the wind, in the air, in the light. It’s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do is listen…

Lyla Novacek: I’m trying to find my son.
Woman at Desk: Name?
Lyla Novacek: I don’t know.

Richard Jeffries: Why is it so important that you want him now?
Lyla Novacek: I’ve ALWAYS wanted him!
Wizard: You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.

August Rush: I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy tales. But I hear it. It came from my mother and father. Once upon a time, they fell in love.

Wizard: If you could choose any name in the world. Any! What would you want to be?
Wizard: Come on, kid. Any.
August Rush: Found.

August Rush: The music. I thought if I could play it, they would know I was alive. And find me

August Rush: Where I live they try to knock the music out of you. But when I’m alone it builds up within me.

Richard Jeffries: You know, a lot of kids don’t want to leave their first home, because they’re afraid that if they do, their parents won’t be able to find them. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen to you.

August Rush: The music is all around you, all you have to do is listen.

Wizard: You got to love music more than you love food. More than life. More than yourself.

August Rush: It’s like someone’s calling out to me, only some of us can hear it.
Wizard: Only some of us are listening.
Lyla Novacek<: I know it sounds crazy, but I can hear him! I swear I can hear him!

After watching August Rush I couldn’t help but think of this video. It says everything I could want to say…

Just Sayins All…

Rusty